We’re continuing our December of Holiday Horror with five more holiday-themed scare classics. We shall start with He Who Shall Not be Named in “The Mean One” (2022). We’ll then abuse the homeless in “Good Tidings” (2016), then go to an alternate universe in “It’s a Wonderful Knife” (2023). We’ll wander around the parking garage looking for a Christmas turkey in “P2” (2007) and then watch an oldie with “Whoever Slew Auntie Roo?” from 1972.
And, of course, we have five excellent short films for you, although they aren’t particularly holiday-themed.
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Mainstream Films:
2022 The Mean One
Directed by Steven LaMorte
Written by Flip Kobler, Finn Kobler, Steven LaMorte
Stars David Howard Thornton, Krystle Martin, Chase Mullins
Run Time: 1 Hour, 32 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
This was a totally fun and horror-filled take on “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas” while totally dancing around actually saying Grinch and avoiding copyright infringement. Cindy runs up against a deadly green monster that holds the town of Newville in the grip of fear. Will things work out to a happy ending like the classic cartoon? Gotta watch to find out.
Spoilery Synopsis
It’s a happy-looking Christmas, and Cindy You-know-who, when her Christmas was stolen. When his heart grew three sizes, he changed inside. Ah, but our narrator says that’s not how it happened. Turns out Cindy’s mother catches a monster in their living room and he kills her. Credits roll.
Twenty years later, Cindy returns to NewVille at the request of her therapist. Deputy Burke pulls them over because they have antlers on the car, and that’s against the town ordinance. The deputy obviously likes Cindy, and vice-versa. Lou, Cindy’s father, is all in for that to go somewhere. That night, in her old house, she wakes up with nightmares of the monster from so long ago.
In the morning at breakfast, Cindy remembers Sheriff Hooper. When she was little, she drew a picture of a green-faced monster who killed her mother. He never did believe there was a monster, just a man in a green mask. Lou complains that nobody in town sells Christmas decorations; no one buys them. Lou wants to decorate anyway.
Cindy gets locked outside the house and somehow the monster gets into the house and kills Lou. It also steals all the Christmas decorations. Cindy then wakes up in the hospital with blood on her hands. Deputy Burke takes her statement, and he’s the only one who listens. Mayor McBean is out campaigning, and she asks how Cindy is doing. Cindy swears it was the same killer who got her mother, but no one believes her description. Why would the Christmas Killer return after exactly twenty years, killing the same family?
Burke offers Cindy a reason to stay in town, but it’s not enough. The mayor and the sheriff argue about what needs to be done about Cindy.
Cindy cleans up the blood and finds a flower on the floor. Those flowers only grow on the mountain, so she decides to hike up there. She spots someone being attacked by The Grinch? (No, we don’t say Grinch - a running joke in the movie.) The victim lost her glasses and can’t describe the monster. The sheriff blames Cindy for “ending Christmas” in their whole town.
A whole vanload of drunken Santas arrives in town and stops at the diner. The diner owner goes into the back to get their drinks, and the creature comes in and murders the whole Christmas Convention without saying a word. By the time the diner owner gets out of the walk-in freezer, everyone is dead. Cindy sees the news reports on TV.
That night, Cindy is attacked, but the creature is run off by an old man called Dr. Zeus. He knows all about the creature and has been watching her since she returned to town. He has his own drawing of the monster, he almost says the name, but he’s interrupted. He mostly just calls him The Mean One. He’s the reason there’s no Christmas in this town. Zeus lost his own wife to the Christmas Killer eleven years ago. He’s talked to the sheriff over and over himself.
Deputy Burke goes poking around and finds many wallets with IDs laying around in a cave on the mountain along with a dead dog. He sees the hairy green creature drag in another Santa body. Doc Zeus comes to his rescue as well.
Burke spends the evening with Cindy, and they talk about how he’s Jewish and doesn’t celebrate Christmas anyway. The two soon find themselves in the shower together, but then the monster attacks– nope, just a dream. Cindy vows to kill the monster, and we get a training and bomb-making montage. She quickly becomes a badass warrior woman through the power of montage.
The sheriff arrests Doc Zeus for driving drunk. He catches the mayor leaving town; she used to be his deputy, and they both know what’s going on. She tells him to keep covering it all up. That night, on the road, her car breaks down near the mountain and the monster bites half her face off before beheading her.
Burke comes by to tell Cindy about his research. All those wallets belong to missing hikers. There’s even a website, run by the mayor, luring hikers up to the mountain to appease the monster. He sees her stockpile of weapons but refuses to help her any further.
Burke confronts the sheriff, he knows about the coverup and her website. Even after Cindy’s mother, the murders continued every year. He knew what it was but couldn’t stop it. Since then, he’s put a stop to all Christmas stuff. All that does is enrage the creature.
Cindy has set up booby traps and bait for the monster, but she catches Doc. Doc says that Burke has gone to the mountain to kill the monster, but her plan was to bait the creature into coming to her house.
We cut to Burke, who tries to sing Christmas tunes that he doesn’t know the words to. He then steps into a bear trap. The sheriff comes to the rescue and shoots the monster in the back, but it runs away. The sheriff then goes deeper into the cave as Cindy arrives to help Burke out.
Cindy goes home and proceeds with her plan to bait the monster with Doc’s help. She fights him with all manner of hokey Christmas-themed assault weapons. The exploding Christmas tree is quite effective, and she gets him right where she wants him. She sees that he kept her necklace all these years; he knows who she is.
Cindy flashes back; the monster didn’t mean to kill her mother, it was an accident. After that, he was branded as a monster and just started living up to the role. Cindy leans down, kisses the green man, and says she forgives him. He clutches his chest and screams as his heart swells up and explodes. Because it grew three times the size.
The news points out how the Mean One photo that Cindy took has gone viral. It’s drawing all kinds of visitors to the mountains around Newville. Christmas has returned to Newville, and Cindy and now-Sheriff Burke are together now. “I bet there’s a parallel universe out there where this story is a lot more fun,” he says.
Brian’s Commentary
“The Mean One” is very obviously someone who shall not be named due to copyrights ;) One of the ongoing jokes of the film is how they skirt around actually saying his name. The rhyming narrator kinda gives it away too. Doctor Zeus drinks from a bottle of Geisel, if that hints even further.
The not-Grinch, or the Mean One, is played by David Howard Thornton, better known for playing Art the Clown in the “Terrifier” series. He’s always good in non-speaking, mime-style roles. The creature, however, looks a lot like the version of the Grinch from the Jim Carrey films.
It’s more of a horror-satire-parody than strictly a comedy, but taken in the manner it was intended, it's pretty good!
Kevin’s Commentary
I loved how they skirted around the creature being called the Grinch, and the other elements they almost-but-not-quite copied. It manages to keep the horror elements with lots of humor. The effects and cast were all very good. I liked it a lot.
2016 Good Tidings
Directed by Stuart W. Bedford
Written by Stuart W. Bedford, Giovanni Gentile, Stu Jopia
Stars Alan Mulhall, Claire Crossland, Jonny Hist
Run Time: 1 Hour, 39 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
Crazy people do crazy things in this movie with no magic or monsters. The trio of bad guys is suitably creepy, masked, and silent. And the characters are fleshed out enough to care about, with decent acting all around. And realistic effects. It’s a little stretched out here and there, but overall pretty good.
Spoilery Synopsis
A man in Santa pants goes out to the backyard of his house and falls down, clearly drunk. As he puts on his coat and gets ready to get into his car, he doesn’t see the three men in masks who come up from behind and kill him. “Santa” loses his head as the three maniacs check out what’s in his trunk. Credits roll. Soon, the three maniacs are now all dressed as Santa and play kickball with the first man’s head.
A couple of homeless men, Sam and John, dumpster dive for food. We see the Santas drive past Sam and John as they go inside a closed-up courthouse downtown. Sam explains that they’ve been camping in this building for a month; no one has noticed yet. They meet Paul and Mona O’Connor, two more people living in the building. Roxy is there, and she’s an addict who’s having issues recovering; she and Sam talk about his past. The homeless have really taken over the whole building, and it’s almost like a happy little town.
Outside, the three Santas all wear masks and head toward the court building. They come in and chain the door shut behind them.
John, the new guy, is amazed that all these homeless people can be so happy. It’s almost too good to be true, he thinks. One man steps outside and one of the Santas stabs him through the eye with a candy cane. The Santas converge on the main group of people and start murdering them.
Sam, a former soldier, takes charge and leads Paul and Mona downstairs to hide in a cell. Many others try for the front doors, but they can’t get out. Paul has a heart attack, so Sam and Mona have to devise a plan. Upstairs, Roxy and John hide while others are massacred, but they are soon captured.
Sam comes upstairs and assesses the situation. Roxy and John get tormented. Sam briefly teams up with Reggie, but soon learns that the Santas have set up booby-traps; Reggie dies and Sam is captured. He gets loose and finds Val, one of his people, tied up on top of a bomb that is counting down. He can’t help her, but he makes dying sound not so bad. Wait– it’s not a bomb, just some kind of silly prank.
Paul and Mona decide to go upstairs for his heart medication, and they see a courtroom full of bodies. They don’t last long; Paul gets stabbed and Mona gets taken with the other prisoners. They make her kiss Paul’s decapitated head, which she doesn’t appreciate. Roxy wants to fight back somehow, but John is a complete coward.
John is dragged off; the Santas want his help to catch Sam. John finds Sam and tells him he killed one of the Santas. This leads to a fight between Sam and one of the Santas, who was only playing dead. Roxy and Mona also fight back in the storage room. Soon, it’s only Sam and Roxy, and he’s injured.
Sam finally gets one of the Santas alone and manages to finally kill one. Sam tells Roxy how to get out of the building and up onto the roof, and she says she’ll be back with the police. He can’t go, as he’s pretty badly beat up at this point.
Two of the Santas find the dead one, and then they fight each other but not for long. They soon find Sam, and one of them climbs up the air vent after Roxy. Roxy talks to her Santa and gets him calmed down; he lets her go. He’s actually leaving, but she lures him back by singing to him. She then stabs him to death.
Inside, the big Santa torments Sam. The big guy gets the best of Sam and starts to strangle him, but Roxy returns and interrupts. She hacks him with the machete, spraying blood everywhere. Roxy and Sam get the keys and open the front door. We get a glimpse of one of the Santas walking out the door as well.
Brian’s Commentary
It’s never explicitly stated, but in the opening scene, the three men are all wearing hospital gowns, so it’s safe to assume they’ve all escaped from a mental hospital. Their ongoing silence adds a lot to the creep factor; they move and sound more like apes than men. Lots of people die in this, but there’s very little gore at all other than a few blood splatters.
It’s very gritty, grainy, and visceral. The budget seems very low, all filmed in the one building with actors I've never heard of. It’s an interesting premise and set, distinctive characters, and unusual villains. With all this, it should be pretty good, but it’s very stretched out and it’s too long between action scenes. We never get any real motivation behind the killers other than “they’re crazy,” but it seems like there should be more to it than that.
Kevin’s Commentary
The whole attack seems random, with no reason, because the killers are crazy. Which does add to the sense of horror and helplessness. There did seem like some moments that the three killers were outnumbered to the point that they could have been overcome, but on the other hand it’s easy to watch from a comfortable chair and say “I would have rallied everyone to fight back.” I thought it was pretty good overall, with a cast that pulled it off, though it could have been tightened up a little. It was a little stretched out at some points.
2023 It’s a Wonderful Knife
Directed by Tyler MacIntyre
Written by Michael Kennedy
Stars Jane Widdop, Joel McHale, Justin Long, Jess McLeod
Run Time: 1 Hour, 27 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
This was a horror take on “It’s A Wonderful Life” where a young woman stops a serial killer, and a year later wishes she had never been born. So she gets to see how different, and worse, the world would have been without her. It’s got plenty of horror loaded with dark humor. It was pretty good, a moderate thumbs up.
Spoilery Synopsis
We open on Henry Waters doing a promotional video of Angel Falls. He’s the mayor, and he does the big Christmas tree lighting ceremony. Winnie, David, Jimmy, and Gale are out walking, but David is stopped by Henry, who wants him to work late, breaking up the family fun. He wants to build a new shopping mall in town, and the only holdout is one old historic house owned by old man Roger Evans, who doesn’t care for Henry. Roger brings up what a good man Henry’s father was, which offends Henry; he still refuses to sign any papers.
Winnie is friends with Cara, Roger’s granddaughter, and they talk about how evil Henry is. Meanwhile, Roger gets a knock on his door, and there’s a white-clad assassin there who jumps out and cuts the old man’s throat.
Winnie and Cara go to a party with many teenagers who all blur together indistinguishably. There’s a weird girl there who Darla tells Winnie not to socialize with. Jimmy is out in the woods with his boyfriend, and we see the killer nearby. The killer then kills Kara’s boyfriend instead. He then kills Kara in front of all the partygoers.
The killer grabs Winnie, but she breaks looks and runs away. Jimmy gets into the fight as well. As the killer attacks Jimmy, Winnie electrocutes the baddie with a car battery. She pulls off the mask, and we see that it’s mayor Henry Waters. Credits roll.
We cut to David giving a promotion ad for their Realty business. It’s been one year since the incident, and Winnie sulks over her rejection to photography school. She tells her mother that she hasn’t heard from them yet. Oh, and she misses Cara.
Winnie runs into Buck, Henry’s brother, who blames Winnie for killing his brother. For gifts, Winnie gets a pink jumpsuit, while Jimmy gets a huge new truck.
Winnie goes to another party loaded with “teenagers” and the weird girl from last year introduces herself; she’s Bernie. Robbie, Winnie’s boyfriend, is making out with Darla in the bathroom. Distraught, Winnie goes outside and wishes she was never born.
Suddenly, the sky turns green and then Winnie confronts the killer, still alive and stalking the town. Now-Sheriff Buck calls the killer “The Angel” and then arrests Winnie. The old sheriff was murdered a year ago, victim number five of twenty-six or so, and Buck took over. Buck has no idea who the killer is; Henry comes up and introduces himself. Something is very wrong here.
Winnie runs home and finds her mother home alone, drunk. David and Gale come in, but none of them recognize her. Gale explains that Jimmy is dead. David says he only had one child, and now he’s dead. Winnie leaves, confused.
As she walks through town, Winnie sees that almost everything is owned by Mayor Henry Waters. She goes to yet another teen party, but this time around, all her friends are drug addicts, and it’s all much darker. She talks to Bernie, but no one has any idea who Winnie is. Most of them have given up caring about death since there have been so many murders in town. We see the masked murderer is a lot more blatant about his work than he was before.
Winnie goes home with Bernie, who designs clothes for a hobby. She’s also got a crazy wall about the killer. Winnie tells her that Henry is the killer. She’s figured out that she’s gotten her wish and she’s seeing the world where she was never born. Jimmy was killed because she wasn’t there to save him. Just as Bernie comes to the conclusion that Winnie’s the real killer, the actual real killer breaks in and attacks them.
The pair run to the movie theater, where they watch “A Christmas Carol.” Winnie goes to sleep, so Bernie researches magical aurora borealis. If it fades away completely, she’ll be stuck here forever– unless she kills Henry again.
Winnie and Bernie go to talk to Gale, Judy, and David. David still has to work on Christmas for Mr. Waters, but he finally talks to Winnie about Jimmy. He doesn’t listen to her when she tells him who the murderer is. Also, Judy, David’s wife and Winnie’s mom, has her boyfriend/dealer right there in the house with them– until the killer gets them both.
The girls knock out the killer, and then they all have to carefully step over him on the way out. She pulls the mask off, and it’s David inside; her father is the killer now! The girls all run away. Winnie, Bernie, and Gale all know who he is now, but David just lets them get away.
They put up a big sign; “David. We are inside” outside the movie theater to lure David in. Robbie and Darla show up to spring the trap instead. As they all bicker, David kills Gale and turns out the lights. After killing some more people, Winnie impales the killer and pulls his mask off again. It’s still David, and he’s really dead.
Winnie and Bernie go to the dock and stare at the aurora, expecting her to return to her own reality. Bernie admits she was thinking of killing herself before Winnie came along, so she made a difference in this reality as well. When Winnie tells the clouds she wants her life back, nothing happens.
The original killer is still out there. They turn and hear Henry giving a speech at the tree lighting ceremony. Henry berates Buck on stage for putting in a transfer; even jerk Buck wants out of this town. Henry stabs his brother right there on stage in front of the crowd; it’s like a cult now.
Winnie confronts Henry on stage, and he’s not even pretending to hide anything. After the two girls pummel him relentlessly, the crows turn on him as well. Bernie ends up stabbing the evil mayor, and he dies… again. The green mist then shines down on Winnie, sending her home. She kisses Bernie before vanishing.
Winnie wakes up in her bedroom, and her whole family is there, alive and well, even Jimmy. She tells them about not getting into photography school, and they’re all fine with that. Winnie remembers Bernie and runs through the town, seeing everyone alive. Surprisingly, Bernie remembers the whole thing.
Brian’s Commentary
Isn’t Winnie supposed to have a guardian angel or someone to explain everything to her? At one point, Winnie tells Bernie, “You can be my Clarence.” Really, “It’s a Wonderful Life” exists in this movie, where that plot actually occurs? Several times, Henry was down for a while and no one bothered to just finish him off, even after Winnie knew that was her purpose there.
Justin Long is clearly having fun here with his silly voice; he dies twice in this one. All the acting here is good, and although there are way too many random teenagers at parties, we eventually figure out which characters matter.
It’s a tired old plot that’s been remade way too many times, but this one is well done and still has a few surprises in it.
Kevin’s Commentary
I was troubled by multiple points where they had the killer outnumbered and ran or had the killer down and ran rather than take the opportunity to finish the job. The movie should have ended sooner at several different places. But overall, it was pretty good.
2007 P2
Directed by Franck Khalfoun
Written by Alexandre Aja, Gregory Levasseur, Frank Khalfoun
Stars Rachel Nichols, Wes Bentley, Simon Reynolds
Run Time: 1 Hour, 38 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
This is a decent game of cat and mouse, with a strong female lead who fights back against a baddie. It’s well made, and in the great setting of a real underground parking ramp, but we both thought it dragged on a bit too long. The actual run time isn’t excessive, but it could have been tightened up. It deserves a moderate thumbs up.
Spoilery Synopsis
We open on “P2,” the second level of a parking garage. We hear “Santa Baby” playing as we zoom in on one lone car. We focus on the trunk and see that there’s a prisoner who busts out… Credits roll.
Angela works late on Christmas Eve; Jody comes in, and the boss wants to talk to her. Jim comes into her office, and he apologizes for his behavior at the Christmas party. It’s one of those “please don’t tell my wife or human resources” kinda situations. She assures him that it’s okay. She makes a few calls to explain why she’s running late to the family Christmas party. She’s the last one out, and she rides down the elevator with Karl, the building security guard who is shutting things down and locking up for the building to be closed for three days.
As Angela gets out of the elevator on P2 and heads to her car, we see that her phone has no reception there. She gets into the car, turns the key, and nothing happens. She tries to go back into the building, but the doors are all locked now. She finds a different security guard, Thomas, and asks him to unlock the elevator. He offers to jump her car’s battery; he’s got a charger and everything. That doesn’t help, and he offers to share his own Christmas meal with her. He’s just joking… maybe.
Angela calls for a taxi ride and sits down to wait in the building lobby. When she gets the call that it’s arrived, she can’t get out the locked door, and Karl is nowhere to be found. The taxi leaves.
Suddenly, the lights go out, and Thomas, the younger security guard, grabs her from behind and chloroforms her. She wakes up chained to a table, and Thomas has a whole Christmas dinner set up for her– oh, and he’s even changed her dress while she was unconscious. She’s upset, and he acts like this is the most normal date in the world. He talks about the books he’s been reading, and she figures out that maybe it’s best to just go along with this.
Angela talks about her boyfriend who will come looking for her, and Tom doesn’t even believe that she has one, knowing the hours she puts in. He calls her bluff. He does, in fact, know all about her family and lots of little personal details; he didn’t just do this, he’s been planning it for a while. He makes her call her sister and give an explanation of why she can’t come to the party.
Next, Tom shows her a videotape of her drunk boss molesting her in the elevator; this is what he apologized for earlier. Tom pushes Angela into his car, and they drive to a lower level, where they see Angela’s boss tied to a chair. “This is my present to you,” Tom states. Angela makes excuses for the man’s behavior, but Tom isn’t having it. Tom then gets out of the car and beats the man severely before running him down with the car– twice.
Angela gets out of the car and runs away as Thomas cleans up the body. She runs to Thomas’s office to steal her phone back, and the guard dog in there makes it a challenge. There’s a whole lot of cat-and-mouse as he chases her throughout the garage and office building. She hides in an elevator until he uses a fire hose to flood her out. It’s not long after that that she finds Karl, the real security guard, dead.
Angela finds an ax and starts smashing the security cameras as Tom sings in his office. She watches a video of Tom violating her as she was unconscious earlier. Tom comes in and Tases Angela just as she sees a policeman drive into the garage. He hides her in the trunk of a car, which takes us up to the opening sequence with her busting out of it. She catches up just as the police have left, and Tom sics his dog on her. This goes badly for the dog.
More cat and mouse. Angela calls 911 but gets put on hold until it’s too late. She steals one of the rental cars and rams Tom’s car with it. He pursues her, and they end up playing a game of “chicken.” She’s very determined, and he swerves to avoid her. She ends up flipping the car, however, and knocking herself out– no, she’s faking it. She stabs Tom in the eye and then strangles him. He wakes up, but by that point, she’s got him handcuffed to the crashed car, which is dripping gasoline all over the place.
As he screams about “just being friends,” she turns and sets the gasoline alight. He burns even before the car explodes. This sets off the sprinklers in the place and the fire alarm. She finally gets Tom’s keys and opens the exit door as the fire department arrives.
Brian’s Commentary
At this point in his career, Wes Bentley took very few roles, and the ones he did take were just for drug money, or so he said later in an interview.
It starts out just fine but really drags in the middle. It’s far longer than it needs to be. The cat and mouse games seem to take up about 150% of the movie’s run time, and we’ve all seen this kind of thing so many times in other films.
Kevin’s Commentary
It’s well made in every way, but it drags on too long with the cat and mouse. And it didn’t feel like much new that I hadn’t seen before. Rachel Nichols was very good. I didn’t hate it, but I’d only give a moderate thumbs up.
1972 Whoever Slew Auntie Roo?
AKA “Who Slew Auntie Roo?”
Directed by Charlie Harrington
Written by David D. Osborn, Robert Blees, Jimmy Sangster
Stars Shelley Winters, Mark Lester, Chloe Franks
Run Time: 1 Hour, 31 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
This is slow moving, dated, and very tame as far as the horror elements. But it’s got enough weirdness to make it interesting. And Shelley Winters gives a good performance as batty Auntie Roo, along with a good cast. Even the kids are pretty good at it. An overall thumbs up.
Spoilery Synopsis
We hear a woman singing as we pan over a huge collection of old-looking dolls. She’s all dressed up and wearing a tiara as she looks at the too-old girl in a crib. We soon see that the girl is really just a mummified corpse. Credits roll as Mr. Benton drives through the woods and stops in front of a big house.
Benton, a psychic, goes inside to talk to Mrs. Forrest, the woman from earlier. They’re going to have a seance to talk to Catherine, Mrs. Forest’s daughter. We hear the little girl’s voice, but she soon “has to leave.”
Christopher and Katy Coombs are children at an orphanage; Miss Henley, the grouchy teacher, is annoyed that they never speak. Mrs. Forrest throws a big Christmas party every year for some of the children who live there. Miss Henley soon announces the names of the ten children who are going to the party. Christopher and Katy are not invited.
Mrs. Forrest complains to Albie that she hasn’t gotten a list of children for the party. Mr. Harrison, the pig man, wants to be paid before he’ll leave the turkey. There’s some gossip about little Catherine Forrest, who just simply vanished one day.
Inspector Willoughby drives the children to the party. Christopher and Katy have hidden in the trunk as stowaways, they sneak in the back door where Albie pulls a knife on them. Mrs. Forest is an American, which makes her a novelty in this area. She wants the children to call her “Auntie Roo.” Miss Henley is shocked when Albie brings in the two mute stowaways.
Mrs. Forest is friendly and nice, even though Miss Henley hates them. She tells the story about how she was an entertainer who married Colonel Forrest who is now “on the other side of the mirror.” It’s all very festive and cheery, a great party.
The children all go to bed, except for Katy, who slides down the bannister. This triggers a flashback for Auntie Roo, who watched Catherine do the same thing… and die.
The old woman is planning a seance for late night, and Mr. Benton soon arrives and begins the seance. He’s a bit loud, and Katy hears him from upstairs. “Catherine” says she hears many children in the house. Christopher wakes up and sees a woman talking into a microphone; the whole seance is being faked. Still, Katy enters the room at the peak of the seance, and Mrs. Forest thinks it’s her own daughter.
Both Albie and Benton see the jewels in with the old woman’s money. The crooked old psychic is paying the servants for their cooperation.
In the morning, on Christmas Day, Mrs. Forrest decides she wants to adopt Katy, but she’s not interested in Christopher. All the children rush in to see what Santa brought them. Katy gets a very special gift– a Teddy bear like Catherine used to have.
The two children go outside to play and look into the old barn, which is full of dolls. It’s all Colonel Forrest’s magical equipment– he used to be a stage magician. They play around with a guillotine, and the Teddy bear loses its head. Someone in a mask scares them away– it’s Albie.
Mrs. Forrest gets annoyed with Katy when Katy wants the old Teddy bear until the old woman starts to think the little girl is a reincarnation of her daughter. Christopher starts snooping and finds Auntie Roo putting the mummy into a coffin behind a secret door.
The next day, most of the children go back to the orphanage. Christopher complains that he can’t find Katy. Christopher tells Miss Hemley that Auntie Roo has a mummy hidden in her room, but she doesn’t believe him. They all leave Katy behind, because that’s something an orphanage would do.
Albie comes to Mrs. Forest to settle accounts; he calls her Rosie Miller, her professional name. He doesn’t seem very servile, and he wants a check for two thousand pounds for him and Clarine. If she doesn’t pay, he’ll report her to the police as a kidnapper. He mentions that he usually gets a cut from Benton, as the seances are fake. She pays him, and he leaves.
Christopher, however, steals a bicycle and rides back to Auntie Roo’s house. He compares the whole thing to “Hansel and Gretel” as he pockets the old lady’s valuable jewelry. He finds Katy, who’s perfectly happy staying in the mansion. As they sneak out the front door, they run into Auntie Roo, dressed just like the wicked witch of Hansel and Gretel.
The next day, Inspector Willoughby shows up. He’s now looking for both children. He wants to look through the house, and she gets angry about it. He brings out bloodhounds and checks the grounds.
Inside, Christopher hides the jewels inside the Teddy bear. He tries to run away but is stopped by Mr. Benton, who is arriving. She calls the psychic a fraud, but he’s too crooked to care. Christopher starts to believe that the old woman really is planning on eating him– she does have a mighty big oven.
Christopher grabs his sister, and they both run for the locked door. She corners them in the kitchen and locks them in the pantry. She then goes up to play with her mummy, which crumbles into dust at her touch. This causes her to become completely unhinged.
When Katy calls the old woman “Mommy,” she relents and lets them out. They turn the tables and lock her in the pantry. They pile wood against the door and set it on fire. The two children run away with the jewels, leaving Auntie Roo to burn.
The two children get outside just in time to meet up with the pig-seller. Auntie Roo was going to cook the pig, not them! He drives off to get the fire brigade.
“Bloody good fire,” comments Christopher before they go back to the orphanage.
Brian’s Commentary
It took a very long time to get to the “horror” part. There’s a mummy and child kidnapping, and maybe a ghost, but that’s about it. There are numerous mentions of “Hansel and Gretel” that make any hidden themes a little too obvious.
Shelley Winters is good here as the crazy old Mrs. Forest, and everyone else does fine. Overall, however, the story is very tame and moves more slowly than it should.
Kevin’s Commentary
It’s slow-moving and made me wonder for a long time when the horror part was going to kick in. But I was impressed with the performances. The distance of time and geography added some interest, and there’s some weirdness. I don’t regret seeing it for the first time.
Short Films:
2024 Short Film: Hallows
Directed by Jack Hourahine
Written by Jack Hourahine
Stars Julia Hourahine
Run Time: 6:21
Watch it:
What Happens
It’s Halloween and trick-or-treat time has just ended. A woman goes back inside her house, glad that it’s over. She talks to her best friend on the phone about how hard Halloween is; she had a bad experience in the past.
Did she remember to shut the door? Wait– is that a pentagram outside on her lawn? Maybe she’d better go outside and investigate– or maybe she shouldn’t.
Commentary
We don’t get much backstory on why she doesn't like Halloween. I assume someone died, but we don’t get any details. Otherwise, it looks good, but it is very creepy, and even outside in the dark, we can clearly see what’s going on, which is always a plus.
2024 Short Film: Up On the Housetop
Directed by Dakota Millett, Michael Fischer
Written by Laura Herring, Dakota Millett, Michael Fischer
Stars Samantha Holland, Kayla Anderson, Dakota Millett, Michael Fischer
Run Time: 15:14
Watch it:
What Happens
Four siblings spend some time together on Christmas Eve just after the death of their parents. Who gets what? They have embarrassing photos and stories about each other as the group bonds.
Later that night, there’s someone in the house. Todd grabs Dad’s shotgun, which he says is full of mostly harmless birdshot. He shoots the intruder and– wait, what’s that sound up on the rooftop?
Commentary
This is amazing. The quality of this entire story is on par with any feature film. It looks great, it is well-acted, the special effects are good, the pacing is spot-on, and I enjoyed this one tremendously.
2024 Short Film: The Christmas Grotto
Directed by Will McDaniel
Written by Will McDaniel
Stars Will McDaniel
Run Time: 5:17
Watch it:
What Happens
A guy is out looking for his lost dog in a field when he comes across a little camper with “Christmas Grotto” painted on a sign. He sees Santa inside and enters to ask about his dog. What he finds is not his dog…
Commentary
We only recently watched Will’s “The Limb Fairy” and thought it was hilarious. Now that it’s December, this one stood out to us. It’s in a similar style to that, with his organic-looking stop-motion creatures. It’s weird and silly and everything we want in a Christmas horror short. Very good!
2024 Short Film: The Creepy Mansion By The Sea
Directed by Robert Dapp
Written by Robert Dapp
Stars Kling AI and Suno AI
Run Time: 4:00
Watch it:
What Happens
Well, nothing. There’s no plot at all.
Brian’s Commentary
A few weeks ago, we featured an AI-generated short that we both trashed harshly. Still, it seems like this AI thing is going to be around for a while, so it may not hurt to stay on top of what’s developing.
This one has no story, none at all. It’s a slideshow of animated AI-generated zombies and corpses, all in weird poses, sometimes moving in frightening ways through an old mansion by the sea. The video is purely visual, although the music is appropriate to what we see. There’s no dialog or sound effects other than the music.
What we see is pretty cool. The character designs, the gothic house and furnishings, and the situations that some of the monsters are in are all very nicely done. There’s a lot of detail in many of the images, and any one of these characters could be the subject of a story in itself.
Again, there’s no plot, so a little of this goes a long way, but the visuals are very promising… now if they could just create an actual coherent story with them…
Kevin’s Commentary
The images are impressive, a series of clips that are short due to the current limits of AI. The consistency of the images is good, with them all having the same look and vibe. The music was appropriate and generic. Like Brian said, a story would be nice. I still remain unimpressed with works of this kind. The only skill and talent put into it is being able to give a computer system the appropriate commands to have it generate everything properly. I know that can be somewhat of a challenge given that artificial intelligence should often be more appropriately called artificial stupidity, but I don’t give the same credit to creators of AI works that I do to filmmakers and animators. To put it bluntly, it’s soulless crap that doesn’t hold a candle to the other two shorts featured this week.
2024 Short Film: The Woods
Directed by Remington Smith
Written by Remington Smith
Stars Kristen DeGree, David Conrads
Run Time: 8:44
Watch it:
What Happens
A woman tries to get into a snow-covered truck on a deserted road. There’s a dead man inside under a blanket. It’s very cold and desolate here, and she has to use a crude tool to break open a can of food. Night falls, and she makes a campfire.
The next morning, she follows footprints in the snow and finds a zombie. She muzzles him so that he can’t bite her. Then we see that he’s not just any random zombie…
Commentary
Do zombies remember who they were?
There’s no dialogue in this one at all, but as it progresses, we get a pretty good idea of what’s going on. It’s all sharp and clear, even the pitch-black night shots, and it looks great. It would have been nice to have gotten more of the story, but what we get is satisfying.
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