Back in December 2022, we thought it would be fun to watch an entire month of Christmas and Holiday themed horror movies. It was easy, and we had a lot of fun doing it. Then, this year, we wondered… could we do it again? Are there even that many Christmas-themed horror movies out there? Oh Yeah. That many and more.
So this will be the first of several weeks of nothing but holiday-themed horror for you. We’ll start off with 2022’s “Violent Night,” have some fun with “Slay Belles” from 2018, get all paranoid with “It Cuts Deep” from 2020, sleep through a 2019 anthology, “Deathcember,” and then go shopping in “While She Was Out” from 2008.
We have FIVE copies of the newly released “Smile 2” to give away:
Bring home Smile 2 on digital now! In this terrifying thriller, an unknown force has latched onto global pop star Skye Riley as reality and her nightmares collide. Buy the film critics are calling "the scariest movie of the year by a mile" and get over 40 minutes of bone-chilling extras including deleted scenes and more. Available at participating retailers. Rated R. From Paramount Pictures.
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And, of course, we have five excellent short films for you. Not particularly holiday themed.
The latest issue of “Horror Monthly” is now on sale, with 43 reviews plus a short story, this time by Brian.
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Mainstream Films:
2022 Violent Night
Directed by Tommy Wirkola
Written by Pat Casey, Josh Miller
Stars David Harbour, John Leguizamo, Beverly D’Angelo
Run Time: 1 Hour 52 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
This plays a lot of tribute to “Die Hard,” which also takes place at a Christmas party. Only in this one instead of an off duty cop, we have a burned out Santa Claus saving the day. The real one, not just a guy in a Santa suit. It wasn’t quite what we expected, and it was better than we hoped. We’d highly recommend it.
Spoilery Synopsis
It’s Christmas Eve in Bristol, England. A man in a Santa suit sits in a bar and gets plastered. Another man says it’s his fourth year as a Santa, but the first guy mentions he’s been doing it so long he’s forgotten why he even started. “Santa” complains about greedy children who demand everything. “Maybe this is my last year; my last Christmas.” He leaves a present for the bartender’s grandson and goes up to the roof. She follows him and sees him take off in his sleigh. He was the real Santa! As he flies over, he barfs all over her head. Credits roll.
Jason, Linda, and Trudy get in the car to go see Grandma for Christmas. At the big house, all the servants rush to get everything ready. Jason introduces all the side characters to Linda: Bert, Mike, Alva, and Mother Gertrude.
We cut to Santa, who’s extremely drunk and just going through the motions giving lots of cash and videogames and not much else.
When Trudy mentions that Jason didn’t take her to the mall to talk to Santa, Jason hands her a walkie-talkie that she can use to talk to Santa. All she wants for Christmas is for Linda and Jason to make up and get back together again.
Night falls, and Santa arrives to eat his cookies and bourbon. Meanwhile, someone knocks out the security guard and alerts certain members of the staff, who all arm up and get ready for something. “It’s time to steal Christmas” says the leader, code name Mr. Scrooge, and everyone else has Christmasy-sounding code names too.
Santa hears shooting outside as the invaders kill all the good staff and guards. He soon sees what’s going on and hides, but he has no way out either. The gunfire scares away the reindeer, so he’s stuck. He manages to kill one of the baddies, but gets locked outside.
Inside, Scrooge takes Gertrude and the whole family hostage. Santa looks in and sees how scared Trudy is and has a change of heart. Scrooge points out that there’s $300,000,000 dollars in the safe downstairs that she stole from the government. He knows a lot about everything.
Santa looks for weapons in his endless bag, but all he’s got are videogames and gift cards. One of the crooks finds Santa, which leads to another hilarious fight. Santa takes the dead crook’s radio and picks up Trudy, who asks for help. He checks his list, and she is on his nice list. The six remaining bad guys are definitely on the naughty list. “Santa Claus is coming to town.”
Scrooge wants to know who’s playing Santa Claus, and he tortures Jason to find out who hired him. Trudy tells Scrooge that she’s been talking to Santa. Jason tells her that there’s no Santa for real.
Santa’s been stabbed, so before anything else, he has to sew himself back together. He passes out and has flashbacks to his Viking days until Trudy wakes him up by radio. They talk about the nature of Santa and Christmas. She reminds him of his days as a Viking warrior with Skullcrusher, his hammer. He was one of the baddest of the bad back then. He vows to come rescue her.
The family is forced to open gifts at gunpoint, and that’s all really awkward. Outside, the “extraction team” gears up on slow machines to pick up the criminals.
Scrooge quickly knocks out and ties Santa to a chair. They dig through the old man’s bottomless magic sack and pull out gift after gift. Scrooge burns the bag in the fireplace. Scrooge really is a Scrooge; he hates Christmas. Santa knows all the crooks’ real names. Santa escapes up the chimney.
The extraction team shows up and shoots Morgan the actor. They’re in on it too. They soon spot Santa and shoot at him, but he avoids them. The crooks finally get the safe open, and there’s nothing inside. “Somebody must have intercepted it.”
Santa’s about to give it all up when he sees a sledge hammer; he’s got his mojo back! “Santa’s gonna eat through these guys like a plate full of cookies.”
And he does…
… In the most ultraviolet and grisly way possible.
Inside, Jason admits that he stole the money to leave with his family and never come back. This starts a bunch of bickering amongst the family members.
Upstairs, Trudy shows us that she’s seen “Home Alone” way too many times as she unleashes booby traps on a few of the remaining baddies.
Jason takes Scrooge to the money, so Scrooge orders that all the hostages be killed. Santa comes in and meets the family. Santa hands Linda a machine gun, and they attack the men outside.
Scrooge runs off with Gertrude and the money, and Santa chases after them on a sled. Jason and Linda make up and bond over beating up a thug.
Soon, it’s just Santa and Scrooge, alone in the woods. Scrooge gets a look at Santa’s “Naughty” list, and it lists all the specifics of how he’s been bad. Very bad. “You’re real? You’re him? Christmas dies tonight!” The two have an epic battle, but Scrooge gets the upper hand. Santa uses a “Secret weapon” to win the battle, but he’s shot numerous times in the process.
Santa’s freezing cold, and Jason burns some money to help. As Santa dies, Trudy tells him that he gave her what she asked for. Everyone admits that they believe in Santa Claus now, and the magic resuscitates the old man. “Christmas magic. I don’t know how it works,” he says.
The reindeers finally show up, and Santa isn’t happy with them but can’t stay mad. They’ve brought his spare magic sack. Inside the sleigh is Skullcrusher as well. Santa thanks Trudy for giving him back the Christmas spirit and then takes off to finish his deliveries.
Brian’s Commentary
I went into this mostly blind; I had assumed Santa was a killer here, like in “Silent Night, Deadly Night,” but that wasn’t the case. This Santa is surprisingly lovable as a burned out drunken old Viking. He’s ultra-violent when it’s time, but he’s also very good with Trudy on the radio.
This was surprisingly good. It took a while to get going, but once it did, it was non-stop action. And some of the kills were quite creative.
Kevin’s Commentary
Even after I read the basic synopsis that it’s a disgruntled Santa saving the day, I didn’t realize ahead of time that it’s the actual Santa Claus. I thought it was going to be a military guy trapped in a bad situation. He is a military guy, just from way back - a Viking warrior who somehow inherited the mantle and magic of Santa. I thought this was very entertaining. David Harbour is perfectly cast, and everyone else is very good too. I liked it.
2018 Slay Belles
Directed by Dan Walker
Written by Jessica Luhrssen, Dan Walker
Stars Barry Bostwick, Kristina Klebe, Susan Slaughter
Run Time: 1 Hour, 17 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
When three women go exploring the closed Santa Land amusement park for their YouTube channel, they don’t expect to run into the literal Santa. Or Krampus. Or any of the real craziness that unrolls from there. Neither of us went into this expecting to enjoy it as much as we did. It was terrific.
Spoilery Synopsis
It’s Christmas Eve, and three women with brightly-colored hair have a man tied to a chair…
Twelve hours earlier, the three women steal Christmas decorations and then decide to go on an adventure. Two of the women, Sadie and Dahlia, run a YouTube channel called “The Adventure Girls.” Alexi hasn’t seen any of their Urban Explorer videos, but she’s going with them this time.
They stop at a bar to pee and drink while waiting. The people inside the bar are very anti-Christmas. “It’s bullshit!” yells the bartender. She even has Christmas hate tattoos on her knuckles. Ranger Sean comes in to arrest Jerry, a drunken pedophile dressed as Santa. He says some “odd things” have been going on around town. “Some kids have been murdered.” He’s a ranger helping fill in with the police.
The three go to an abandoned theme amusement park, Santa Land, for their next video. Dahlia and Sadie hand Alexi her “Christmas uniform,” which lets us all see they all have boobies. We get a montage of the girls doing silly YouTube poses as they run through the park. The place had been closed for twenty years since kids died here. All three of them feel like they’re being watched as they frolic through the park.
At the sheriff’s station, the men talk about a family that was recently killed. It’s supposed to be a bear, but it must’ve had anger issues– or something.
The three girls break into a prize cache and take their souvenirs. Then they spot a building they haven’t gone into before. As they dig around inside, Krampus shows up outside. When one of the girl’s phones goes off, Krampus chases them outside until the security guard tackles him. They run for their van, but it’s been towed, so they call 911. The call doesn’t go well since the operator thinks it’s a prank call.
Suddenly, the security guard pops in through the chimney. Is he Santa Claus or just a Hillbilly? He uses his magic on them; they’ve been very naughty. Yes, he is Santa, and he owns Santa Land. The girls don’t believe a word of it.
We cut to Krampus, who pours his own blood on something– is that an egg? Krampus then goes outside and attacks Jerry, the Santa-dressed drunk from earlier.
Santa changes into his traditional outfit, and the girls interview him on camera. His answer to all their questions is “Magic!” He gives a crash course about how society forgot about Krampus, and he personally just wasn’t needed anymore. Then, his theme park, Santa Land, got shut down. He kept Krampus frozen in ice for many years, but now he’s loose again.
Santa doesn’t want to go to the police for various reasons, but he insists that Krampus can not be killed; that would be bad. Krampus kills children, puts them in a basket, and sends them to Hell. No, Alexi says he has been putting the children in boxes, not Hell. That’s not normal.
Santa says that Krampus can be contained if they can contain him until after midnight. Krampus comes after the naughtiest people first, and the girls have to get… naughty. This works surprisingly well, and the three girls knock out the monster with a Taser. Santa’s unconscious, too, since he’s linked to Krampus.
The police find more bodies and decide that maybe it’s time to call in the FBI. “This ain’t no bear.”
The girls tie up Krampus and then decorate him for YouTube and selfies. He gets loose very easily.
Sadie’s boyfriend, Brian, arrives at the cabin, and they explain the situation to him. Krampus storms back in and impales Brian with his horns. It was a very brief role. Ranger Sean arrives just in time to hear the screaming. Santa and Krampus fight with magic, and Dahlia stuns Sean with her Taser.
Santa and the girls tie Sean to a chair and explain things to him at gunpoint. Everyone in town knows Old Man Kris, who’s just a crazy hermit. With a little magic, Sean’s easily convinced otherwise.
Alexi devises a plan, and all the good guys gear up for battle.
The sheriff finally tells some of the cops to go and check out Santa Land.
It’s all going badly for Krampus until Cherry, the Christmas-hating bartender, shows up on her motorcycle. Yes, she’s Mrs. Claus, Kris’s crazy ex. She laughs maniacally because she’s turned evil in the years since their business failed. She’s not just there to serve cookies, and she’s not fat, ugly, and old. Krampus is her sexy, horny boyfriend now.
Inside, the girls and Sean open some boxes and find many little hairy baby Krampuses inside (they look like “Critters”). They escape and then free Santa, just as Mrs. Claus and Krampus fly away in the sleigh. Sean shoots Krampus, and Santa screams in pain. Since they are connected, Alexi grabs an ax and beheads Santa. The sleigh explodes in midair, killing all the baddies.
The police arrive as Santa dissolves and floats away into stardust.
Brian’s Commentary
“Santa Clause is comin’ to town, bitches!”– Hillbilly Santa.
It’s got a very goofy and cheap indie vibe to it, but it’s really well done and not as low-budget as it might appear. The acting and dialogue are pretty awful, but it’s the kind of awful acting that really goes along with the mood of the film. This was Richard Moll’s final film, but here he just plays one of the cops.
This looked pretty awful as it got started, but I really, really liked it. It may be the contender for “Best of the week.” It’s a hoot!
Kevin’s Commentary
I wasn’t expecting the real villain of the story to be Mrs. Claus, a role that Diane Sallinger nails perfectly. All the cast is good at what they’re doing. Krampus looked good. After a little bit of a low start, I thought it was great. My favorite of the many Christmas movies we’ve seen so far this year.
2020 It Cuts Deep
Directed by Nicholas Santos
Written by Nicholas Santos
Stars Charles Gould, Quinn Jackson, John Anderson
Run Time: 1 Hour, 17 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
For such a short run time, this one managed to feel too long. The two main guys didn’t work for us. We both thought Quinn Jackson was fine. But the whole package was low on horror and mostly tedious. We didn’t have a good time and wouldn’t really recommend it.
Spoilery Synopsis
A boy shows up at a girl’s house in a Santa hat. She wants him to come inside for sexy reasons. A man with a knife follows them inside and kills them both.
We cut to Sam and Ashley eating something gross in the park. They talk about going somewhere an hour away. She wants to talk about “marriage and stuff,” meaning children, but he’s jokingly evasive. We flash back to see that Sam doesn’t really do well with children. The credits roll.
The couple goes to Sam’s childhood home in the country, and Ashley complains that there is no cell signal. He cooks her a horrific meal, but he swears it’s OK. She accepts Sam’s marriage proposal, but he says that’s not what he intended. He’s not going to propose, which disappoints her.
In the morning, he looks through an old photo book as she goes out for a run. He’s still evasive about marriage and kids when they go out to breakfast. One of Sam’s friends, Nolan, shows up coincidentally, and she notices right away that he’s way better looking than Sam. Funny that Sam never mentioned him before.
They bump into him again a little later, and Nolan has a baby daughter. Sam doesn’t like babies. Nolan invites them both to dinner, but his wife, Lauren, points out that they have other plans. Later, Nolan shows up at their door and says plans have changed; Lauren couldn’t make it. It’s all very awkward, since it’s clear that Sam doesn’t want Nolan there.
Nolan talks about the murders that took place ten years ago. It was his sister who was killed in the pre-credit sequence. He starts to cry, and Ashley consoles him. Later, he dresses as Santa and makes Ashley sit on his lap, but that’s too much for Ashley. Sam tells Nolan to leave, and Nolan admits his whole plan is to win Ashley away from Sam. Or maybe he’s kidding.
That night, Sam hears someone break into the house. He finds Nolan outside, dressed as Santa Claus, all covered in blood. Ashley runs outside too, but she doesn’t see him; she thinks Sam has lost his mind.
In the morning, Ashley is barely speaking to Sam, although we can see she’s probably pregnant. She goes out for a run and sees Nolan out working a landscaping job in the area; he’s so obviously creepy, but she waves anyway.
Sam goes to town and runs into Lauren, Nolan’s wife. He asks her if everything is OK, and she’s very pleasant and seems just fine. When he gets home, he finds Nolan and Ashley decorating the Christmas tree. Sam finally asks Ashley to marry him, and she hates the idea now since he’s been such an idiot all weekend.
Nolan berates Sam for abandoning him after his sister died, and how upset that made him. Sam picks up a machete and threatens Nolan with it. Sam ends up stabbing Nolan. He comes inside to find Ashley, who tells him that she’s pregnant. He tells her the story about how he killed Nolan’s sister ten years ago when she told him she was pregnant with his child. He also admits to killing Nolan just now.
Ashley locks herself in Nolen’s truck, and they have a conversation through the window about what a terrible father Sam would be. Night falls, and Nolan comes to the door, not so dead as it appeared. Rather than leave, he yells for Sam to come outside and fight him. Sam shows up, and Nolan passes out or dies. Sam stabs Ashley in the foot, and she limps away.
Ashley screams for mercy, and Sam pulls her in for a hug. Then she stabs him in the neck, and he pulls out an engagement ring and proposes. As an answer, she beheads him.
Brian’s Commentary
This is way up the list as a contender for worst movie we’ve seen this month, and it’s got a lot of stiff competition.
Sam is annoying and obnoxious from the very first scene, and it’s never quite clear what Ashley sees in him in the first place. I was certainly hoping he’d die early, but it also seemed unlikely, since he’s the star of the film. After a while, we suspected that maybe Sam was the killer ten years ago, but honestly, we just didn’t care by that point.
Ashley is fine, her actress made her seem normal, but the two male leads are just over the top caricatures of real people. True, one of them was crazy all along, but they both were just poorly acted.
Kevin’s Commentary
I couldn’t connect or sympathize with Sam, and I was supposed to. At least for the majority of the movie until the big reveal which I had guessed at well before it was revealed. Quinn Jackson's believable portrayal of Ashley was a bright spot most of the time, but overall I didn’t enjoy the movie very much at all. It’s short on run time but still felt long.
2019 Deathcember
Directed by Lazar Bodrozam, B.J. Colangelo, John Cook Lynch
Written by Wes Allen, John Cook Lynch, Steve De Roover
Stars Barbara Crampton, Clarke Wolfe, Tiffany Shepis
Run Time: 2 Hours, 25 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
It’s an anthology of tales leading up to Christmas, laid out like an Advent calendar. It’s kind of cool how the dates in the shorts correspond to the countdown until we get to actual Christmas Eve and Day. Each one has a different cast, writer, and director, so they are all varied in nationality and style. They were all at least good, with some very good. The only fault is quite a long collective run time that left us a little weary by the end. If you’re a fan of horror shorts, you should check this one out.
Spoilery Synopsis
This is an anthology of 24 short stories, so I’m not going to go into the usual detailed specifics this time.
We open on a cemetery with the credits on headstones, and the theme music sounds like it was ripped from the Harry Potter movies.
We cut straight to “A Door Too Far,” where a boy eats his entire Advent calendar in one sitting and then starts another. He goes to a shop in town and starts eating more calendars, right there in the shop. An old man in the shop ses this and curses him. “Calendarium Maleficarum,” he repeats. Later, the boy wakes up in an Advent calendar, and a little girl eats him.
The next story is “All Sales Fatal,” where a woman cuts in line at the store to return a gift that her son isn’t interested in anymore; she doesn’t have the receipt, and the clerk won’t allow the return. She goes outside, grabs the bellringer’s bell and whacks the clerk with it. This results in a bloody knock-down-drag-out fight between the two. As they lay dying, she finally finds that receipt.
The third story, “Aurora,” takes place in the year 2389 on Proxima Centauri. We hear that the big holiday is arriving over the floating houses. Aurora hears that there’s a burst of seeds that’s clogging one of the pipes; it’s up to her to fix it. Contamination is spreading, and one of the floating buildings crashes to the ground and she dies.
… And that’s only 15 minutes in. All the stories are very short and somehow Christmas-themed. Many are basically just creepy-themed jokes, but that’s all right too. The variety is nice.
Brian’s Commentary
24 Short horror films are like a twisted Advent calendar all by itself. In terms of quantity, it’s very similar to “The ABC’s of Death,” and is mostly of the same quality.
If you like short films, there’s a lot here to like; naturally, some are better than others, but there are a few gems here. There’s a mix of English, foreign-subtitled, and animated stuff here, so there’s something to please (or annoy) everyone. There’s even a black-and-white silent film.
The real downside here is that there are too many stories, and it drags on for too long. It really started to feel like a slog at about the two-hour point. This would have been better with a dozen stories and about an hour less runtime.
Kevin’s Commentary
I did like the variety, with some being international, some grim, some funny, and different styles. I was kind of exhausted by the end of over 2 hours of shorts. The only downside is it’s a lot to watch through in one sitting.
2008 While She Was Out
Directed by Susan Montford
Written by Edward Bryant, Susan Montford
Stars Kim Basinger, Lukas Haas, Craig Sheffer
Run Time: 1 Hour, 26 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
This seemed a little more like a thriller than horror, but it was still pretty good. There was a little lack of depth to the characters. It moves well though, with a strong cast and good direction. There wasn’t a whole lot new here, but we liked it.
Spoilery Synopsis
We see various children’s drawings as credits roll.
We open on Kenneth, who argues with someone on the phone about bad investments. He goes into the messy house and yells for Della; he wants to know what she does all day long, because there are kid’s toys and clothes all over the floor. He’s mean, over the line into abusive, as the two kids watch.
It’s Christmas Eve, and Della is out of wrapping paper, so she leaves her closed, gated neighborhood to go to the mall to buy some more. We see that her cell phone is low on power when Cassie calls and tells her the mall is crazy right now.
The mall is indeed crazy; everyone in town must be there, and the parking lot is full. The security guard recommends parking further out. It’s especially bad when she finds one jerk taking up two parking spaces. It’s infuriating, so she writes a nasty note and leaves it on his windshield.
Della buys her wrapping paper, and the mall is packed on the inside as well. For some reason, her card is declined, so she has to pay cash; she’s barely got enough in her purse to cover it.
When she gets back to her car, she’s surrounded by four young people who gang up on her and make threats. The leader is Chuckie. Chuckie is the guy who parked badly in the car she left a note on. The security guard comes to break up the problem, but Chuckie shoots him in the head.
Della drives off, and Chuckie and the boys follow her. They shoot at her. She tries to call the police, but her phone is dead. She panics and drives into a construction site and crashes the car. Chuckie’s car also gets stuck, but they come after her on foot.
Vingh and Tomas want to turn around and go home, but Chuckie is persuasive about tying up the loose end of Della. They find Della’s car and abandoned purse. She did, however, manage to grab a toolbox. Still, they soon find her.
The guys wonder what’s in Della’s toolbox. Why would she grab that and leave her purse behind? They make her open it. She hits Chuckie with a wrench and runs for it. Huey takes a fall through a hole and makes a crunch as he breaks his neck.
Della uses the opportunity to run off into the nearby woods, and the now-three young men chase her. Vingh stops to play loud music as a tribute to dead-Huey. As they argue, she stands and watches rather than running away. Eventually, the chase resumes; they can follow her from the smell of her perfume.
Della takes a tire iron out the box and beats Tomas to death with it. He doesn’t go down easy, and she has to work it, but gets there eventually. When they find the body, Vingh fears that she’s going to kill him and Chuckie.
Della, who is now Rambo, jumps out of nowhere and stabs Vingh with a screwdriver in his neck, which she really forces in hard. Now only Chuckie is left to finish the job.
Chuckie taunts Della from a distance. He has her driver’s license and address; he threatens to kill her kids. He even guesses that her husband takes her for granted, “You don’t want to go back to that,” he mocks. He offers to go home and kill her husband and she kisses him. They laugh together and kiss some more as he puts a gun to her head.
The two lay on the ground and get ready for sex, and she asks for it. He puts down the gun and goes for it. As they go to it, she jams a torch into his face and shoots him with his own gun.
It’s a long walk back to her car, but she gets there eventually and gets it started. She passes police working on the dead security guard on the way home. The car dies just outside her gated community, and she walks the rest of the way home in the pouring rain, singing Christmas carols all the way.
She comes into the house, and immediately, Kenneth starts in on her. He wants to know what she got him while she was out shopping. She points the gun at him, “Nothing.”
Brian’s Commentary
You know you’re wearing too much perfume if people can track you through the woods, at night, by following the smell. Other than that, it’s miraculous how well they can follow someone in the dark, through the woods, with no path.
It’s more thriller than horror, but that line gets thin and blurry sometimes. The whole plot is somewhat reminiscent of the non-Christmasy “Eden Lake,” which came out the same year. But rather than the downer ending of that film, Della survives, learns from her ordeal, and uses it to improve her situation at home.
Kim Basinger shows “terrified” well, but other than that, she’s pretty one-dimensional as an abused mother and not much else. Actually, all the characters seem to only have one defining trait.
Kevin’s Commentary
Who knew Christmas shopping could be so dangerous? This was low on the horror, but I thought it was a well put together thriller. I liked Kim Basinger in a role that’s not typical for her. Like Brian said, most of the characters are on the one dimensional side, but the whole package entertained me.
Short Films:
2024 Short Film: Splinter
Directed by Curtis Matzke
Written by Curtis Matzke
Stars Mark Colson, Jenna Pall, Rico Bruce Wade
Run Time: 8:21
Watch it:
What Happens
A vampire has a splinter of wood embedded in their chest, and it’s slowly working its way into his heart. “Invasive nonhuman surgery is prohibited due to possible infection,” explains the doctor. The vampire lays in a hospital bed, prematurely aged due to his condition. The doctor explains what’s going to happen to his “patient.” The vampire says this isn’t how he pictured dying, but there’s not much he can do… is there?
Commentary
“Nothing is immortal.”
This is really good. It’s reasonable, understandable, and more dramatic than horrific. I was expecting the girl vampire to turn on him or betray him, but no, nothing like that. Just a dramatic death.
It’s not exactly horrific, but it’s a vampire story, so it goes here, but I definitely liked this one a lot.
2024 Short Film: Accidental Stars
Directed by Emily Bennett
Written by Emily Bennett
Stars Madeleine Morrell, Kyle Minshew
Run Time: 9:10
Watch it:
What Happens
A woman wakes up and goes to the window, but then we see that she’s really just playing a role in an acting class. The instructor, however, takes things very seriously. How much abuse is she willing to suffer to become a star?
Commentary
It all looks good, sounds good, and is nicely paced, but neither of us were quite sure what it was about when we were done. Emily Bennet has an explanation in the YouTube comments that helps some. David Lynch would be pleased with this one, but we had mixed feelings.
2024 Short Film: Collection Day
Directed by Alun Rhys Morgan
Written by Alun Rhys Morgan
Stars Tomos Gwynfryn, Steffan Evans, Olwen Medi, Chris Woods
Run Time: 12:01
Watch it:
What Happens
Two men respond to an ad for a “free chair.” One guy thinks the house looks sketchy, but the other really wants that chair. There’s only one little old lady inside, and she offers them tea. There’s nothing weird about that, right?
Right?
Commentary
Wow. That guy really wanted that chair.
It looks great; the special effects are gross and well-crafted. The acting is both funny and believable, and the situation all makes sense as it unfolds.
I liked this one a lot.
2024 Short Film: Shut the Door at 10:04
Directed by Zachary Padgett
Written by Zachary Padgett
Stars Zachary Padgett, Alijah Palacios
Run Time: 5:00
Watch it:
What Happens
Jack runs home and hides in his bedroom just before the clock hits 10:04. We see Post-It notes explaining the rules. “Close the door at 10:04, Safe to leave at 8:13,” and some other reminders, such as “The Sounds Aren’t Real.”
He’s safe in his room until the knocking starts. Will he open the door or won’t he?
Commentary
We don’t know why any of this is happening or how Jack knows these rules, but we see the effect of breaking the rules and the tricks the “enemy” plays to get that door open.
It’s short, it’s got nearly zero budget, and really only one actor, but it’s all well done and gives a good sense of suspense and dread. Very cool!
2024 Short Film: We Joined a Cult
Directed by Chris McInroy
Written by Chris McInroy
Stars Kirk Johnson, Carlos LaRotta, Kyle Irion, Stephanie Vasquez Fonseca, Matthew Thomas
Run Time: 4:31
Watch it:
What Happens
A couple of guys go to the park to play a prearranged game of kickball, but that doesn’t go according to plan. Turns out, it’s recruitment day for the “He Who Blows in the Wind” cult, and the cultists are very persistent.
Commentary
This is awesome. It pokes fun at all the usual cultist tropes while still being familiar and fun. The two leads really carry the plot, and the whole thing is just one cult joke after another. It’s quite good!
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