We’ve got an eclectic collection of weirdness for you this week: The much-improved sequel to last year’s “Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey” is out, as is a very nice caveman horror film, “Out of Darkness” from last year. “Wolf Creek 2” (2013) continues our fun with Mick from Down Under, and “The Wicker Tree” (2011) shows us how the folks on that crazy island are doing forty years later. We’ll then watch “Killer Klowns from Outer Space” (1988).
Then, instead of a single short film, we’ll watch FIVE of them!
Announcement: Changes!
Our Magazine
We’ve dropped “Bulletin” and are now just “Horror Monthly.” This is in tune with our new Internet domain, HorrorMonthly.com. We’ve still got the same writers, editors, reviewers, and basic style; it’s just a name change. We’re just changing the mix of what goes into it.
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Currently, at HorrorGuysPodcast.com, each week, Kevin and Brian read and comment on the same material that hits the Horror Weekly newsletter. Nothing is changing here. The podcast is included in our newsletter each week, but it can also be found on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube, among many other podcast listings.
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This is probably where the biggest change is going to be. We won’t be posting four full-length movies and a short in the future. The HorrorGuys.com site is now focusing more on indie films (as they are made available to us) and short films. The full-length film reviews and synopses are going straight to the newsletter. Everyone seems to love the short films, so we’re beefing those up in a big way!
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TLDR?
HorrorGuys.com is now for short and indie films.
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Full-Length Films:
Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey 2 (2024)
Directed by Rhys Frake-Waterfield
Written by Rhys Frake-Waterfield, Matt Leslie, A. A. Milne
Stars Scott Chambers, Tallulah Evans, Ryan Oliva
Run Time: 1 Hour, 33 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
There’s a bigger budget this time around, with better special effects and more of a background story. There’s a little too much time spent seeing Christopher struggle with his problems. But it has excellent gore kills and a good payoff once things get going.
Spoilery Synopsis
We’re reminded of the old story about “The Boy and the Bear,” and we’re told about the Hundred-Acre Massacre, and things haven’t gone so well for Pooh or our heroes. We see an animated intro with Christopher Robin being loaded into an ambulance. Few believed his story, and he became a pariah. The locals searched for Pooh and his friends, searching and burning the woods and driving the animals to new places. Pooh reunited with some of his old friends.
We cut to an RV with a woman trying a seance for the “Spirits of the Hundred-Acre wood.” Mia, Jamie, and Alice try using a Ouija board, but they don’t get very far before Pooh gets them. Owl enters the scene, “Who's the abomination now?” Credits roll.
Christopher Robin finishes up with his therapist. His girlfriend, Lexy, says it’s like he’s trying to make her leave him. He gets home and finds that the neighbors have vandalized his car.
When the police find the three women and the burned RV, the locals go out hunting for “those things.” Owl reports to Pooh and Piglet, “We trusted Christopher.” Owl is tired of hiding; he wants to take the fight to the humans. Something big in a locked room growls ominously…
The hunters are still out after dark. They find Piglet and blow his head off. Pooh shows up and makes short work of the three hunters.
Chris gets laid off from the hospital; the administration has had complaints. He goes home to visit his parents and little sister, Bunny. Chris’s therapist hypnotizes him and takes him back to the past when he and Pooh were friends. Pooh was never really a good guy, but Chris didn’t see the evil in him. Chris remembers watching as someone kidnapped his brother Billy.
Lexy calls Chris while she’s babysitting. Freddy, the kid she’s babysitting, is watching the first movie. Elsewhere, the police make it inside Pooh’s hideout. The big door to the “dungeon” is wide open. Tigger kills all of them.
The police come to the door. The recent deaths are a lot like the massacre, and they want to rule out his involvement. Chris visits a man in the hospital, and his face is mostly torn off. Chris is clearly suffering from PTSD from his childhood. Meanwhile, Owl kills Chris’s friend by melting his face with acid vomit.
Chris goes into an old man’s house; this is the man Chris thinks kidnapped his brother many years ago. Cavendish admits he did it, but he was doing it for Dr. Gallup, who promised to cancel a gambling debt. Dr. Gallup was using the children for genetic experiments, combining human and animal DNA. The experiments worked.
Cavendish followed the animals all the way to the Hundred Acre Wood. Dr. Gallup had too many concerns, so he killed and buried the mutated children, then Cavendish shot the doctor right between the eyes. The kids, however, didn’t stay buried. They crawled out of their graves. When the attacks happened last year, everyone assumed Chris did it, but Cavendish knew better. His story finally told, Cavendish apologizes and kills himself.
Lexy wakes up Freddie; there’s someone in the house. They use a toy car with a camera and see that it’s Pooh down there. When the police arrive, they come inside and meet the bear. He rips off one officer’s arms and beats her to death with it.
Chris has some of the mad scientist Dr. Gallup’s tapes, talking about his experiments on the children. He called the experiments a success, but they were so dangerous that he decided it would be best to kill them. Lexy calls Chris and tells him that she’s seen Pooh.
We cut to Pooh, advancing to Chris’s parents' house. His mother learns why you don’t put knives point-up in the dishwasher. Pooh has taken his sister, Bunny.
A bunch of kids are having a rave in the country, and when Pooh shows up, he goes right in and makes a scene. We also see that Tigger is still into jumping.
Chris arrives at the rave right at the end of the rampage and encounters Tigger, who runs away when Chris starts shooting. Pooh comes after Chris with a flaming chainsaw.
Pooh corners Chris and is about to kill him, but then he has a flashback of his rebirth; he’s Billy, Chris’s long-lost brother. Chris smacks Pooh over the head with an ax. “Oh, Bother,” says Pooh as he collapses, dead.
Chris and Lexy stumble out of the woods to where the police are waiting with Bunny, who is fine. As they drive away, we see Owl healing Pooh’s wound. “We’ll ALL be back for you, Christopher Robin!”
Brian’s Commentary
While obviously a cash grab, I didn’t hate the original “Blood and Honey” (2023). It certainly had its problems, but I remember enjoying it more than most people did. This one clearly had a higher budget, better creature effects, and could do a lot more this time around.
Between the 30 and 50-minute mark, there was little but Chris whining and dealing with PTSD. There was entirely too much talking and angst. About the time Cavendish explained it all, it started getting more interesting. This one includes a logical origin story for the creatures: human-animal hybridization experiments. It’s silly, but it fits.
Pooh looks a lot better than in the previous film. For some reason, they decided to drop Piglet, who I liked in the first film. Owl is here, and he’s not a convincing flyer, but he’s definitely creepy. I expected more from Tigger, but maybe his effects were less convincing and got cut.
It’s got some excessive kills and good gore. There was a mention on the doctor’s tape that some of the animals could regenerate, so Pooh could easily return in another film.
It dragged a bit, setting things up, but once it got going, it got going. Overall, I liked it at least as much as the first film, and there are still several animal characters unaccounted for that could be in the third film.
Kevin’s Commentary
I’m with Brian, enjoying the first movie quite a bit. The creatures were less rubbery and more expressive this time around, and they looked good. But the amount of time with no creatures weighed heavily on me. It was too much. I’d say I didn’t care for it as much as the first one.
Out of Darkness (2024)
Directed by Andrew Cumming
Written by Ruth Greenberg, Andrew Cumming, Oliver Kassman
Stars Iola Evans, Arno Luning, Rosebud Melarkey
Run Time: 1 Hour, 28 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
45,000 years ago, it was very dark at night, and you couldn’t call 911 for help. That captures the gist of this movie. A small group of early humans fight to survive against the unknown with the limited resources they have. It’s slow but gripping and well-made, but it left us feeling unsatisfied at the end.
Spoilery Synopsis
45,000 years ago, we open on a group of people sitting around a campfire chipping bones with stones. Heron wants Ave to tell him a story. She talks about caves and herds to hunt; Odal, the leader, wants to tell a story. He tells them about their hunt for a good, safe place with plenty of food and animals and how they built a boat and went to a new land. It was supposed to be paradise, but it was cursed; the Earth was barren.
Adem and Odal argue about what’s really out there, and Odal says that it’s not a place for happy stories. “The danger of bringing light into a dark place is that you might find out what lives in the darkness.” Adem insists there are no demons, and if they had stayed at the old place, they’d all be dead now. Credits roll.
In the morning, Geirr and Beyah talk about being hungry and having nothing to eat. They see some mountains in the distance, and those are likely to have caves to live in. They walk all day and then camp. They find the remains of a big dead animal; something killed and ate it. Old Odal offers Adem advice, but Adem is very proud and won’t listen.
Beyah has her first period, and Ave explains how all that works. “You have a purpose now.” In the heavy fog, the group almost gets split up. Odal and Geirr go off hunting; Odal wants to go around the forest, not taking the group inside.
That night, Beyah goes off into the darkness to dispose of her “feminine product” and hears screaming from far away. Odal follows her to rape her but is interrupted by screaming, much closer to them now. Whatever it is, it’s getting closer.
Something in the darkness grabs Heron, and Adem storms off after them until Geirr begs him to stay with the group.
In the morning, Beyah doesn’t want to go with Adem, but no one really has a choice right now. They find Heron’s coat covered in something stick that isn’t blood. The trail leads into the woods, into the darkness.
Adem is crazy with the grief of Heron and leads them inside, much to everyone’s dismay. They all doubt his sanity, but he’s the strongest, so they have to follow. They find a huge bone pile and hear a creature roaring.
The thing in the darkness screams and chases them for a while. Ave works to build a fire, but the thing is closing in quickly. Adem chases one into the woods alone. The four remaining people hear him screaming in the darkness. “We’re all going to die,” shouts Beyah. Geirr goes out and retrieves Adem, whose mouth has been ripped off. After some deliberation, Beyah stabs him to death; he can’t be saved.
Ave goes into convulsions from hunger. Beyah points out that they have something to eat now as she looks at Adem’s body. They aren’t happy about it, but they all eat.
“Why doesn’t it just kill us?” asks Odal. He and Geirr argue whether it’s an animal or a demon out there.
As the sun rises, there’s a quick argument about who the new leader is going to be. Geirr is in charge, but he clearly doesn’t know what to do. Odal and Ave grab Beyah and blame her bleeding period for attracting the monster in the first place– she is an outsider, after all. They drag her to the bone-pit area and leave her there as an offering to the demon.
When they hear the monster approaching, Odal stabs Ave in the side. Two offerings are better than one, right? She reaches up and breaks the old man’s leg; he’s not going anywhere either.
Beyah gets away in the confusion and looks for Geirr. As the creature closes in on Odal, Geirr and Beyah get a hazy look at it in the fog. Beyah attacks the thing and sees that it’s just a Neanderthal woman in a mask. Beyah thinks there can’t be many of them, or they’d have already been killed. What if there’s just one of them?
They track the thing to a cave on the side of the mountain and go inside. Lightning flashes, and we see that they are not alone in the cave. Suddenly, a man attacks Beyah and chokes her out. Geirr charges in and stabs the man. Then the neanderthal woman kills Geirr.
Beyah finds Heron still alive. Heron runs to help the Neanderthal woman get out of the cave. Beyah doesn’t help; she beats the woman to death with a rock. “We were starving; they fed me!” She explains to Heron that those things killed all their friends.
Eventually, Heron and Beyah move into the dead people’s cave. They find evidence that maybe the Neanderthals weren’t bad people; they hadn’t really killed anyone– the six travelers mostly killed each other.
Commentary
Caveman horror? Why not? The 'Tola' language spoken in The Origin was created for the film. It is loosely based on Basque.
There are only a half-dozen or so distinctive-looking characters in the beginning, so we can tell everyone apart. It definitely captures the idea of these people having so many “unknowns” in their lives.
The film is slow and quiet and actually seems to get slower and slower as it progresses. The end reveal is fine; it also adds to the whole “fear of the unknown” vibe the movie has going for it. In the end, though, it’s a little unsatisfying.
Wolf Creek 2 (2013)
Directed by Greg McLean
Written by Greg McLean
Stars John Jarratt, Ryan Corr, Shannon Ashlyn
Run Time: 1 Hour, 46 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
Part two was a worthy follow-up to the first, with a bit more of a budget for the special effects. The gore is very realistic, with some brutal torture and deaths. There’s nothing magic or supernatural here, and the horror element comes from knowing that it’s just a guy doing it. It’s not real, but at least parts of it could be.
Spoilery Synopsis
We open on a pair of cops in the most obvious speed trap imaginable. A car finally passes, but it’s going under the speed limit; they go after him anyway. We see that it’s Mick Taylor from the first film as the cops pull him over. They make him get out of the car, and they find some butchered pigs in the back of his truck. Mick argues that he was under 100 kph, but the cops decide to be bullies about it. They write him a citation, and he gives them a mean look but doesn’t really do anything.
As the cops drive away, he eyes the rifle in the back of the truck. The cops laugh at scaring the man in the truck– until the cop driving the car’s head explodes. Mick has caught up with them, whistling away as he pours gasoline on the wrecked police car with the other severely wounded cop inside. Mick shows them what he does to “pigs.” Credits roll.
We cut to Rutger and Katarina, a pair of German hitchhikers from the big city, working their way across Australia. Mick’s truck stops to pick them up. When another truck comes into sight, Mick drives off and leaves them. The two eventually make it to the national park, where they have a good afternoon.
They catch another ride with someone else who drops them off at the Wolf Creek Crater. It is… a crater. When they’re done, they have trouble getting someone to pick them up for the trip home. They end up camping in the desert, but at least they have all their stuff with them. They hear a truck outside their tent, and Mick warns them that it’s illegal to camp there.
Mick offers the couple a ride, and when Rutger declines, Mick stabs him to death. He’s about to rape Katarina when Rutger gets back up and smacks Mick over the head. Mick doesn’t go so easy on him the second time, completely decapitating Rutger. He chokes out Katarina and gets to work.
Mick takes his time dismembering and butchering Rutger as Katarina wakes up and sneaks off.
We cut to Paul, a guy driving alone in his car. He stops when he finds Katarina in the road. She’s hysterical, but he helps her into the car just as Mick sees them and starts chasing. Paul soon figures out that he’s gotten in the middle of a bad situation as Mick tries to run him off the road.
Both cars crash, and Mick shoots Katarina. Paul manages to get his Jeep started and drives away. After he goes a while, Paul stops to unload the corpse out of the front seat of his car. He leaves her in the desert and knocks out his blood-covered broken window before driving off. He eventually makes it back to the road and tries to flag down a car, but nobody will stop for him. A big truck eventually stops, but Mick’s the one driving.
The two have quite a road chase until they try to drive through a herd of kangaroos at high speed. Things just get worse and worse for Paul until his car finally gives out and gets pushed over a cliff.
Paul’s airbags save him, but he’s alone in the desert with no idea where he is and only one water bottle. Mick sacrifices his big stolen truck to finish off Paul’s Jeep, so now it’s just the two of them on foot.
Paul staggers on toward a farmhouse and passes out. Someone pulls him inside. He wakes up later and finds that someone has washed all his clothes. Jack and Lil, an old couple, seem very nice, but Paul is still in shock and a little paranoid.
Paul hears Mick yelling at the house from outside, but Jack grabs his rifle and says, “I’ll see to it.” Jack runs Mick off, but Jack doesn’t live long after that; neither does Lil. Paul runs out the back door, but Mick has found Jack’s horse, so he’s sure to catch up.
Mick does eventually catch up to Paul, and it’s a very short fight. Paul eventually wakes up tied to a chair in Mick’s basement. They sing “Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport,” which entertains Mick enough that he makes them both drinks. This continues until Paul sings a song that Mick hates.
Mick wants to play a game where he’ll ask trivia questions about Australia, and for each one that Paul misses, he’s going to grind off a finger. It’s cordial but tense, but Paul answers the first few questions. Mick gets tired of waiting for a wrong answer and removes a finger anyway. But then, Paul can’t answer a question about cricket– like, who could? Paul loses a second finger.
Mick admits that no one ever really gets out of this place. Paul manages to hit Mick with a hammer, but he’s not out long enough for Paul to finish the job. Paul runs away, but he chooses the wrong tunnel; it’s a dead end. Paul finds where Mick stores his women’s bodies, some of whom aren’t quite dead yet.
Mick releases dogs to chase Paul through the tunnels. Mick catches up, naturally.
Paul wakes up again (how many times is that?) on the street in town, holding a note that says “Loser.” He’s a bloody mess, but the police come and take him away. We cut to text that says, despite his story about a crazed gunman, Paul was held as a suspect in several unsolved murders in the area. He was eventually deported and committed to an asylum in England.
We cut to Mick, walking across the outback desert.
Commentary
“The first rule of the Outback: You never, never stop.”
The bit with the truck chase is very reminiscent of “Duel” (1971). The whole film is mostly just one-on-one with Mick and Paul, so it really is just a sort of extended duel.
The filmmakers knew that the best part of the first film was Mick’s personality and quirky mannerisms, and that’s what they kept here. The main plot is mostly different from the first film, but he’s consistent.
It’s intense. If you liked the first one, you’ll probably like this one too.
The Wicker Tree (2011)
Directed by Robin Hardy
Written by Robin Hardy
Stars Brittania Nicol, Henry Garrett, Graham McTavish, Christopher Lee
Run Time: 1 Hour, 36 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
This is a sequel to 1973’s “The Wicker Man” which was also directed by Robin Hardy. The original is a classic piece of work, but this one is just an okay movie. While it’s not awful, it’s a big step down from the original. It might have been judged differently if it was a stand-alone movie of its own.
Spoilery Synopsis
We open in Dallas as a girl in a limousine picks up a cowboy on the side of the road. When they stop at a church, people ask for Beth Boothby’s signature; she’s a bit of a country music star. Beth and Steve are going to spend the next two years preaching the word of God to the heathens of Scotland.
We cut to Scotland, which we are told borders England [really?]. Sir Lachlan Morrison and his wife, Lady Delia, meet Beth and Steve, who show off their chastity rings. “They’re perfect for our needs,” says Sir Lachlan. It’s a big performance at the church, and Beth sings for the TV.
Back in their room, Steve and Beth make out, but there’s only so far they can go with those chastity rings. The TV plays one of Beth’s old videos, “Trailer Trash Love,” so we see she wasn’t always like this.
The next day, Steve and Beth go door to door, spreading the Word of the Lord, or more likely, getting door after door shut in their faces. Delia says they might have a lot more luck outside the city; she knows a good place out in the country.
Delia asks if they’re “saved,” and she makes it sound really creepy. Beth and Steve can’t deny it, though, because it’s in the Bible.
Meanwhile, at the nuclear power station, Sir Lachlan joins them. Everyone in this region works for him. Lolly the groom, flirts with Steve as all the townspeople watch, but she’s really in love with Orlando the policeman.
Jack is a weird guy who trains birds; he’s very strange and only talks in poetry. Steve explains religion by using his trick deck of cards, which is just goofy. Even when the guys at the table shuffle the cards, Steve can get them back in order.
Beth spends some time with Morag, Marion, and Murdoch, who talk about the magic of May Day and the rebirth of nature. They let her try on the May Queen’s dress. Surprisingly, it fits.
Lolly and Orlando have sex. Mary sings a bawdy song in the pub to Steve, who dreams about sex with Beth.
In the morning, Steve rides Sir Lachlan’s special horse up to the castle. On the way, he sees Lolly bathing topless in the holy pond. He gets naked and joins her. While Beth is going to be the May Queen, they want Steve to be the Laddie. They soon have not-imaginary sex. She talks about following the Goddess, and he still doesn’t approve. After, he notices that he’s lost his chastity ring. “When you’ve lost it, you’ve lost it. It don’t grow back.”
Lachlan makes a presentation about the nuclear power station that he wants. Patricia and Magnus are against the idea, but Angus is on Lachlan’s side. Angus and Lachlan talk about the accident ten years ago that polluted the water table; no one in town can have babies anymore. The press still hasn’t noticed.
Beth and Steve give a cringeworthy bible lesson to a group of the locals. Afterward, Beth accepts the title of the May Queen. Steve says he wants out; after the May Day thing, he wants to go home. She notices his missing ring and starts listening to “Trailer Trash Love” recordings.
Sir Lachlan tells the rules of being a “Laddie” to Steve. A little boy talks to Steve; he’s the only child in town, and Steve notices.
Lolly and Orlando have more sex as Jack listens outside. Poor Orlando ends up going to the hospital afterward.
Delia and Sir Lachlan try to poison Beth, but the cat dies instead. Lachlan orders Beam, the servant, to take care of things. Delia and Lachlan talk about whether or not he really believes what he claims to believe. We cut to a photo of Christopher Lee above the fireplace, which then flashes back to Christopher Lee talking to young Lachlan about the poor “Laddie” and how that usually works out.
It’s the day of the hunt, and Lachlan introduces Steve as this year’s Laddie. Everyone is supposed to chase him through the woods with a sabotaged saddle. Meanwhile, Beam goes into Beth’s room with a giant syringe, but she stabs him in the crotch with a broken wine glass and runs off.
Beth runs through the town looking for help or a phone and finds neither. Beam recaptures Beth and they oil her up in the kitchen. Beam tells Mary that it makes the skin easier to peel. They talk about replacing her eyes.
Steve falls off the horse but gets back on and rides bareback, which the villagers didn’t expect. Lolly warns Steve that it’s a trap, but he was warned not to fall for that and rides on. Steve makes it into the castle and sits on his throne as instructed. He wins! When the hunters file in, they don’t look happy. Sir Lachlan comes in as everyone starts to get undressed. “You will give your life so that a new generation of people will be born.” Yep, Lachlan wants to use Steve as the sacrifice.
Lolly hears his screams from afar and cries; she really was trying to save him.
Beth wakes up in a room full of previous May Queens, all stuffed and very lifelike. She finds a way out and runs into Lolly, who tells her what happened to Steve. Beth says “I’m gonna be one Queen of the May that no one is ever gonna forget.”
We cut to all the villagers on a hill with the “Wicker Tree” as Beth marches up and takes her place. Everyone is shocked that she’s come up here willingly. She kicks Sir Lachlan into the wicker sculpture and lights it on fire with him trapped in it.
“Don’t you have a song for this?” She taunts the crowd. The crowd does sing, and then everyone goes home, including Beth. As she runs through the woods, she sees that one little boy who offers to show her to the next town.
He leads her on through the dark woods, and the villagers are waiting there for her.
We cut to Molly giving birth to Steve’s baby. The impotent village has been blessed. We cut to Beth in the May Queen room, dead and stuffed like the others…
Commentary
“She’s almost severed yer googly.”
The problem with making a sequel to “The Wicker Man” (1973), is that we already know the twist ending and the conspiracy behind it all. We essentially know what’s going on here from the beginning; it’s all about why and how it’s going to happen here.
Much like the original, the point here is that Christians are silly and completely ignorant about how the real world works. Unlike the original, this one is almost played for laughs, except there really are people like this.
Christopher Lee was supposed to play Sir Lachlan in this one, but due to an injury in another film, he was unable to take the part. Instead, he just appears in a brief flashback.
It wasn’t terrible, but it suffers in comparison to the first film. Taken on its own, it’s not bad.
Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)
Directed by Stephen Chiodo
Written by Charles Chiodo, Stephen Chiodo, Edward Chiodo
Stars Grant Cramer, Suzanne Snyder, John Allen Nelson
Run Time: 1 Hour, 28 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
The Klowns are pretty awesome, but they’re surrounded by a movie that hasn’t held up well. There are a few chuckles to be had, but a lot of the humor falls flat and seems stale. Kevin remembers being delighted when he saw it in 1988 when it came out, but both of us felt relieved this time around when it was over.
Spoilery Synopsis
We stop in at the Big Top Burger as the credits roll and see the characters there. We follow Officer Mooney as he drives around the little town on Friday night, patrolling for nefarious teens.
Up at Lookout Point, all the teens are drinking and making out until the Ice Cream truck drives up to annoy them all. Rich and Paul, the ice cream men, are not getting lucky tonight. Mike and Debbie laugh at the two idiots and then watch as a meteorite crashes nearby. They decide to go find it.
Farmer Green sees it crash on his land and grabs his shovel. When he gets there, he doesn’t find a rock; he finds a circus tent. He can’t find a way inside, but something inside grabs his dog. Then Green sees a big ugly clown who smiles at him and shoots him with a ray gun.
Mooney brings a couple of college kids into the station, and it looks like he has a problem with young people in general. Dave, the younger cop, is a lot more reasonable.
Mike and Debbie find the circus tent as well. They get inside, and it’s like no circus tent they’ve ever seen. There’s no one else there, so they explore. It’s a lot bigger on the inside than they expected, and it smells like candy. They watch a clown come in carrying one of the local townspeople. The aliens all look like clowns and do clowny things.
The clowns chase the young couple through the woods, led by their balloon-animal dog. Debbie wants to go to the police, but Mike says they’ll never believe them. Meanwhile, the clowns start making their way toward town. The couple do go to the police station, and the police do not, in fact, believe them. Dave wants to follow up on the story, but Mooney just laughs and laughs.
Meanwhile, the clowns find people and shoot them with their ray guns that turn them into pink cotton candy cocoons. A group of bikers confront the clowns, and one of them gets his whole head punched off.
Dave and Mike go back up into the woods to where the circus tent was, but now it’s gone. They stop at Lookout Point, and all the teens are gone. Dave releases Mike from the handcuffs; he believes now. Mooney receives numerous calls from citizens who see malicious clowns. He thinks it’s a prank from the ice cream brothers.
Mike finds Rich and Paul have crashed their truck. He enlists their help. Meanwhile, Mooney starts ignoring all the phone calls until one clown comes in face to face. He cuffs it, but then its arms come off. Mooney gets what’s coming to him. Dave returns later to find his prisoners encased in cotton candy. Dave shoots one of the clowns, but that doesn’t do anything at all. He finally shoots it in the nose, and it explodes.
Mike and the Terenzi brothers soon encounter an entire parade of clowns collecting cotton candy-encrusted townspeople. At home, Debbie is attacked by mutated bits of popcorn in her bathroom. The real clowns eventually zap her into a balloon. The clown car soon gets into a chase with the ice cream truck and a police car.
Dave figures out that the clowns are all headed to the old amusement park. The clowns attack the park’s security guard with pies. Lots of pies made of acid that dissolve him into a giant sundae. Dave, Mike, and the ice cream brothers go into the park, and it’s all alien now but still clownish. Mike and Dave rescue Debbie just before a bunch of clowns show up to chase them. The whole alien spaceship is like a big funhouse, and they run all over the place.
The trio are eventually cornered by dozens of crazy clowns until the ice cream truck breaks through the wall. The clowns see the big talking clown on the roof of the truck, and they are very, very confused. All the clowns quietly back off when something big comes down through the ceiling; it’s the Klown King, and he smashes the truck.
Mike and Debbie run outside as the circus tent pulls up stakes and gets ready to leave Earth. Dave stays inside to shoot at the Klown King. The whole spaceship takes off just as a bunch of police cars arrive. Inside, Dave pops the King’s nose with a pin, and everything explodes. Dave escapes in a clown car.
Commentary
Most of these characters are supposed to be college students, right? We never get any explanation as to why these alien invaders look and act like clowns, not even a hint.
This all looks good, but the dialogue is just terrible. The characters are all just as stupid as they need to be for any given situation. The clown creatures are really well done, at least for clowns. The various clown attacks are mostly not interconnected; they’re skits that all end the same way.
It’s considered a classic, but it’s one of those you’ll either love or hate. I didn’t much care for it all; I was eager for the ending to finally come and found very little of it actually funny. For a very low-budget film, it was pretty well made, however. The clowns themselves are nearly iconic.
Short Films:
Short Film: Good Head (2021)
Directed by Matt Servitto
Written by Matt Servitto
Stars Matt Servitto, Henry Zebrowski, Addie Weyrich, Dan Triandiflou
Run Time: 27:01
Watch it:
What Happens
Major actor Cooper Bradley is starring in his new superhero film, “Silver Streak,” and he gets the call that he needs to get a molding of his head done for a scene. He and his assistant drive out to the special effects house and meet Shane, the special effects guy. He gives them a tour of his (amazing) prosthetics warehouse. He’s Cooper’s #1 fan, and he doesn’t try to hide it.
Cooper is claustrophobic, which makes getting a whole head mold really terrifying for him. In truth, that’s only the beginning of Cooper’s nightmare…
Commentary
This is just awesome. The special effects here are absolutely nowhere near Hollywood quality or budget, but they were clearly a labor of love on someone’s part, and there are a lot of special effects here.
“Cooper Bradley” is a play on a certain MCU actor’s name, but Matt Servitto clearly should be playing “Junior Downey Robert” instead. He’s got the looks and mannerisms of the Iron Man actor down; I assume they thought maybe it was too on-the-nose, or maybe they feared legal problems. Doesn’t matter; we know who he’s supposed to be.
I don’t know where they filmed this, but it certainly looks cool. The production values are outstanding, the acting is perfect for the story, it’s incredibly funny, and overall, it’s a major win!
P.S. Watch out for Milton Berle.
Short Film: Amy’s House of Art (2023)
Directed by Karl Huber
Written by Karl Huber
Stars Lauren Crandall
Run Time: 6:32
Watch it:
What Happens
We watch a recorded interview with a young artist who is excited to show off her work. She grows corn as a hobby. She paints as a hobby. She sculpts as a hobby. The materials she uses, however…
Commentary
This is really well done. It’s filmed in the style of some kind of interview show, and Amy shows off her personality and her work, getting crazier and crazier as the interview progresses. The problem is, we have all met someone like Amy…
It’s short, it’s a whole story, and it’s very funny!
Short Film: Hope (2024)
Directed by Adam A. Losurdo
Written by Adam A. Losurdo
Stars Herman Ljung Opedal, Tonje Brattas, Felin Hellsegga
Run Time: 11:08
Watch it:
What Happens
The zombie apocalypse has happened, but it’s not like what we expected. Zombies just wander around harmlessly, usually the victims of pranking and bullying because they don’t fight back. Karl is one such zombie, watching as his fellow zombies get punched, shot, and stabbed. One guy even steals Karl’s shoes!
“Life” for Karl is pretty hopeless until he meets Hope, the zombie of his dreams. What could go wrong?
Commentary
This one is really good. There’s no real dialogue, just a voiceover from a Sam Elliot impersonator. The basic premise starts off silly, but it builds logically to the end. People just never know when to leave well enough alone, do they?
Short Film: O, Glory! (2024)
Directed by Joe Williams, Charlie Edwards-Moss
Written by Joe Williams, Charlie Edwards-Moss
Stars Sam Spruell, Emily Stott, Jonathan Livingstone, Vincent Shiels
Run Time: 15:35
Watch it:
What Happens
A doctor gets calls to a remote British estate house, where Sylvester has called in the specialist and his assistant to deal with his maybe-insane sister. As the treatments progress, the specialist doesn’t make much progress; actually, he starts getting sicker himself. This isn’t going to end well, is it?
Commentary
I like the retro look of this one. Between the picture quality, the setting, the outfits, and everything else, this looks just like a segment out of one of the old Hammer or Amicus anthologies. Emily Stott seems to be channeling Shelley Duvall from her role in “The Shining,” and it’s perfect. It’s maybe a little longer than it needs to be, but overall, I liked it– it has a full story and all the explanations we really need.
Short Film: Sweet Meats (2024)
Directed by Rebecca Myshrall
Written by Rebecca Myshrall
Stars Zoe Wade, Jamie DiCicco, Laura MacLean, Julia Steady, Nate Stephenson
Run Time: 12:25
Watch it:
What Happens
It’s a girls’ sleepover night, and the four girls start talking about boys as these things often unfold. This group, however, is a little “ahead” of other sleepers. A boy comes to visit, sees what they’re doing inside, and nopes right over to the neighbors’ house.
Really, though, is that any better? No, not at all.
Commentary
Well, OK then, that went to several places I didn’t expect. The longer it went on, the weirder it got. I can’t exactly say I understood it all, but it’s definitely worth a watch!
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